It's Me or the Dog: Twilight Edition
by Newfoundland Novelist
Summary: Bella gets a puppy during New Moon when Edward leaves her. When he comes back, they discover the new puppy likes everyone but Edward. Thanks to Alice, Bella and Edward are put on "It's Me or the Dog". Characters belong to S.Meyer. P.S. ALICE ROCKS! R


It's Me or the Dog: Twilight Edition

((This is a little one shot fan fiction thing that's completely for laughs. It is written as if Bella adopted a puppy during New Moon to try and solve her depression over losing Edward. Then, since a puppy can do anything, Bella never jumps off a cliff and Edward comes back on his own and realizes he needs Bella. The only problem is, the dog doesn't like Edward.))

It's Me or the Dog: Twilight Edition

I honestly couldn't see the problem in what I'd done. Edward had made it quite clear to me that we were no longer together, and I had to fill most of my time with _something_. Charlie was worrying about my zombie like state, and even talking to Jacob Black didn't seem to be curing it. I needed someone who would be there at my beck and call… Someone who would stay the night with me and would always be there when I needed protecting. I needed Edward, but since he had made himself so unavailable, I needed the next best thing. I needed a dog.

I _was_ happier with my new companion then I had been since the day Edward left. True, it was like having a single lick of ice cream when you wanted a sundae, but it was bearable. My craving for constant companionship was solved more easily than I ever would have guessed.

Jacob hadn't found a problem with my new dog… He liked it even. He helped me find the right breed and had assisted me in naming it. I'd ended up with a Great Pyrenees, a large white dog that was very sweet and quite gentle. The breed is known as rescue dogs, I was told by a laughing Jacob, for all those times I put myself in danger. After looking through names we had decided on "Esarosa", or Rosa for short. I especially liked the way it sounded, though Jacob seemed to take his own personal pleasure in it's meaning. As I was later to find out, Esarosa means "White wolf" in Native American. Maybe I am starting to see why Edward doesn't like her very much…

Regardless, in the absence of my true love I spent every moment (waking or sleeping) with Rosa beside me. She was allowed nearly everywhere, and she liked everyone. Each afternoon she'd follow me to Jacob's in La Push, and she'd sit and watch me work just outside the Newton shop. She even followed me to school and waited for me politely outside each class.

Then Edward came back and my world was again complete. We were as close as ever, and I had no trouble forgiving him for his extended absence. After all, Edward would never do something if he hadn't truly thought it in my best interest. Yes, we would have been right back as if nothing had happened if it weren't for two canines. Jacob, who was not nearly as pleased as I was that Edward had returned, and Esarosa, who considered my vampire boyfriend an outsider.

Though being himself Edward never would have suggested I get rid of Rosa, I could tell it was on the tip of his tongue multiple times. The very first time Edward tried to embrace me Esarosa stood between us, growling every time he came near. It seemed to frustrate Edward how easily he could normally brush past such an obstacle, but that he couldn't for fear of hurting my beloved pet.

When Edward tried to kiss me it was worse. Even if I by some miracle got Rosa into a staying position long enough for Edward to hold me, my sudden halt in breathing as we kissed always set her off. She would bark, growl, jump, and while I knew it couldn't really be hurting Edward, I felt bad.

The first night Edward tried to stay with me was the worst by far. Rosa had become quite used to being by my side constantly, and when Edward tried to take her place there was trouble. The first night I tried to shut Rosa in the hallway, but it didn't last long. She threw quite a loud storm of protests through poundings on the door and barks I had to guess were insults towards Edward. With all the racket she caused Charlie woke, and he came to ask me why I had decided to shut her out so suddenly. Naturally I couldn't tell him that it was because Edward was sneaking into my room to stay the night with me, so Rosa usually got her way and slept in my room. A disgruntled Edward usually sat perched as near the bed as Rosa would allow without throwing a fit loud enough to wake the dead.

The next night I tried something different, shutting Rosa outside instead. This turned out worse than before though, because as it turns out, neighbors can call the police on a noise violation if a dog barks all night. Who would have guessed that Chief Swan would get a call on his own dog…

To say the least I was forbidden to lock Rosa outside without a very good reason from then on. Though I knew perfectly well I _had_ a good reason, it wasn't one I would explain to my father.

Even after a few weeks of Edward being around Rosa never seemed to like him. To this day I suspect Jacob had something to do with that, though I never figured out a way to blame him. It just seemed odd that every time Rosa came close to accepting Edward she would suddenly change her mind. It was almost as if someone was telling her he was an enemy…

The afternoons that I still spent with Jacob (which were much fewer now that Edward was back) were usually filled with my asking for advice in training Rosa. Rather than offer the help I'm sure he could have given, Jacob spent most of his time reminding me of all the articles I'd read that said you shouldn't trust someone your dog doesn't like. I was positive the articles were wrong… Or perhaps Rosa was. Edward was completely trustworthy.

It was watching TV one day that we came up with an idea that was almost plausible. Edward was sitting stiffly on one side of the couch, me on the other. Rosa had planted herself between us defiantly and glared at Edward any time he made a move to get closer to me.

We were watching animal planet as we had started to every morning. There were occasionally shows that talked about training dogs, and I was constantly looking for new ways to teach Rosa and Edward to get along. Today there was a show on called "It's Me or the Dog" and I watched attentively while Edward pretended to also be interested.

"That's it!" I exclaimed suddenly, unable to hide my enthusiasm. Rosa jumped from the sudden noise, then growled at Edward accusingly as if blaming him.

"What's it?" Edward asked calmly, his eyes flickering curiously from my suddenly glowing features to the television screen.

"We'll put Rosa on 'It's Me or the Dog'!" I exclaimed, smiling with my obvious brilliance. To my great disappointment, Edward didn't seem impressed with the plan.

"You think some dog trainer can teach Rosa to like your vampire boyfriend?" He said skeptically. "When a family of vampires, a police chief, and a werewolf couldn't manage it over a period of a few weeks."

"This dog trainer can train a dog to do anything, even like a vampire." I replied, completely sure. "They say so in the opening, weren't you listening?"

"And how are you going to explain our 'unusual' situation?" Edward asked.

"Leave that up to me," I said firmly.

"It sounds like a bad idea," Edward said with the shake of his head.

"I think it's brilliant," An excited feminine voice said behind them. Rosa and I both jumped, turning to look behind us. Without moving his eyes from the television Edward spoke.

"Don't bother to knock or anything, Alice."

I couldn't help feeling a little less sure of myself as Alice agreed with me. Her plans always seemed a little… irrational. Mine wasn't really to that point yet, was it?

"Charlie said I'm welcome any time," Alice replied indifferently, "Besides, isn't your visiting time almost over?"

Edward made an unrecognizable sound, still pretending to be involved in the television show.

"I think it's a wonderful idea Bella," Alice said, turning to me with a euphoric grin. "I always thought your relationship should be televised, but Edward never seemed keen on the idea. I thought it would be a great source of entertainment though. You two always seem to have something worth listening to on the tip of your tongues." As Alice spoke she leaned over and pet Rosa gently.

"Maybe you just aren't a dog person Edward," Alice offered thoughtfully, "Rosa's never had a problem with me."

"Now that I think about it, Edward might be right," I said hesitantly, "I doubt a dog trainer is going to be able to help."

"You won't know until you give it a try," Alice said, still smiling in a suspicious way.

"Alice, I really think it's best if we figure this out on our own." I tried again; sorry I'd ever suggested the idea. Edward finally stopped pretending to watch the television, turning to Alice and nodding his agreement.

"You never want to do anything that would be fun Bella," Alice pouted, looking slightly guilty now. "I think it's worth a shot. Please give it a try you two?" She asked hopefully.

I sighed heavily. "Is there a reason you want us to go on the show or do you just enjoy taking a slip of the tongue I make and blowing it into outrageous proportions?"

"Well…" Alice said, drawing her words out slowly, "I sort of already…"

"Sort of already _what_, Alice?" I asked, teeth clenched.

"Well… I saw you and Edward on the show and got so excited I decided to er… Help things along." Alice said uneasily.

"Meaning?" I asked.

"I already signed you two up. The next episode will star Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, a couple straight out of Romeo and Juliet who are being driven apart by a dog that only wants the best for her owner." Alice said, dancing out of reach in case Edward or I reacted badly.

Edward's face was amazingly calm… Then again, when wasn't it? I on the other hand had my emotions painted across my face, and I was furious.

* * *

I admit, even coming from Alice I was hoping it was a joke. I couldn't really see Alice signing Edward and I up to be on national television. It was too risky, too out in the open. What if someone watched the show and figured out Edward was a vampire? I was sure Carlisle would never allow it.

"It's Me or the Dog?" Carlisle repeated, listening as Alice explained the show and it's purpose.

"It's a horrible idea, isn't it?" I said hopefully, "Much too risky, right?"

"No one is going to figure anything out about vampires by watching this show." Alice replied in exasperation. "They're just going to think your boyfriend was a jerk for leaving you and deserves having your dog hate him."

Edward threw Alice an exasperated look from his position beside me… or rather, beside Rosa who was beside me. Charlie had insisted I take Esarosa with me on the basis that I'd left her home more than three times this week, and every time I left she barked constantly. To tell the truth I was amazed such a clumsy dog was allowed inside the Cullen's spotless home. But then, I'd forgotten how amused Edward's predicament made his family.

"Sounds awesome to me," Emmett spoke up, leaning forward eagerly. "Though I'm quite happy watching Edward fight with _two_ dogs for a place beside Bella."

"You aren't helping," I snapped.

"It's alright for them to go on the show though, right Carlisle?" Alice spoke up quickly.

"I suppose it wouldn't be a problem if-" Carlisle began.

"What are we going to do if someone cuts themselves while filming?" I said suddenly, sure I'd found a surefire plan. "We can't have a family of vampires endangering everyone."

By Alice's accusing look I knew that my comment had been below the belt. I'd brought something she couldn't help into my argument in my desperation to stay off television. Still, if I was a klutz in every day life, I could only imagine what I would be like in front of a national audience.

"That's true," Carlisle allowed slowly.

"So the rest of us will stay away," Emmett replied simply, "It's not like we have to be there, it'll all be on television soon enough."

"But what about Edward?" I countered again, still determined to stick with my only leverage.

"He can handle it. He didn't kill you when you cut yourself… Anyone else is probably a piece of cake." Alice pointed out calmly. "And just in case Carlisle and I will be standing by. I want to be make sure they do your makeup properly anyway."

"Carlisle?" I pleaded, hoping he had some way to come to my defense.

"Well, I honestly don't see a problem with it," Carlisle responded slowly. "We'll obviously have to be careful, but as long as Edward hunts right before the show…"

Simultaneously I let out a loud groan that mixed rapidly with Alice's squeal of victory.

* * *

I could tell by the slight smirk on Edward's face that my tripping incident had been noticeable. Though I'd tried to make it nonchalant, I knew it had been in vain. The dog trainer, Victoria Stilwell, had told me to make Rosa move off the couch and I'd tried to do just that. The problem was, it turns out Rosa is stronger than I am. After I sat pulling on her collar for some time Victoria had suggested that I put her leash on and get her off that way.

On my way to the door I had tripped. Predictable, isn't it? Thankfully I was pretty certain I wouldn't bruise from it, but I still had fallen flat on my face… and they were filming. My face now bright red I grabbed the leash, praying all the time that they would decide against showing any of my clumsiness on the show.

I put Rosa's leash on her, again ordering her off the couch. It seemed as if she would have listened if Edward hadn't been sitting there waiting. She could sense this was the only way she could keep us apart, and she wasn't planning to budge.

"Perhaps I could be of assistance?" Edward asked politely, addressing his statement to Victoria rather than myself. He was quite aware she was in charge whether we liked it or not.

"It's obvious the dog is aggressive towards you," Victoria replied, "It won't do any good unless Bella is the one to get her off."

Edward let out an exasperated sigh but didn't argue, instead watching in amusement as I tugged on Rosa's leash with all my might. Just as I had braced myself against the couch and was leaning back as far as I could go, Rosa decided it was time to move. With the sudden tension released I fell back onto the floor, letting out a cry of surprise which was immediately met by a very wet lick from Rosa. Edward rose, obviously pained to have to move at a normal humans gait. I could practically feel his frustration that he hadn't been able to catch me without looking suspicious. It was sweet, and a moment I quite enjoyed. That was, I enjoyed it until Edward reached down to help me up and was met by a menacing growl from Rosa.

"That's it, send her straight into the other room." Victoria instructed sharply. I gave her an incredulous look, wondering if she'd paid attention to what had just occurred. Realizing she wasn't joking I sighed, taking the leash once more and leading a protesting Rosa from the room.

I could hear Alice's tinkling laugh from off set and tried to avoid eye contact whenever I could. Each time I saw her laughing I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks, and for some reason all I could think about was not wanting to make things any more difficult for Edward.

By the end of the day I was able to get Rosa off the couch in a total of five minutes after ordering, pulling, prodding, and at last leading her to the other room. By the next morning Victoria Stilwell wanted to move onto the next part of training.

"Now a problem that often occurs in relationships is that dogs are very possessive of the bedroom. They consider it a threat for anyone to enter, even a parent or friend to just sit and talk. I'd like to see how Rosa reacts to different people approaching you in your bedroom." Victoria explained calmly. Though I tried to protest they were already heading up to my room. Apparently they weren't asking permission, they were warning me.

"Now sit on your bed and we'll begin," Victoria said politely. Reluctantly I sat, watching her expectantly.

"First we'll see how Rosa reacts to people besides Edward," Victoria said. "We'll bring in some of your friends and family to test it."

To no surprise of mine Alice was the first volunteer. With the amazing grace that only Alice Cullen seemed to have, Alice danced to my bed side and sat down beside me without hesitation. She pet Rosa a few times, starting up a conversation on the newest clothing store she'd been to before Victoria cut her off.

"Well, we can see there isn't a problem with Edward's sister approaching," Victoria said, though I had thought that obvious. I also didn't feel the need to point out Alice wasn't really related to Edward. There wouldn't be a point in saying so.

"Let's try someone else then," Victoria went on. "We have another acquaintance Bella, one your father suggested we call."

To my utmost surprise Jacob Black entered the room, smiling in the way I loved so much as he walked casually to my side. As he passed I noticed Edward casually lean away while Alice more noticeably moved to the other side of the room. Carlisle seemed completely unfazed, greeting Jacob with a nod.

Jacob sat beside me without any more hesitation than Alice had used, though with him it seemed to have more meaning. Rosa layed down beside him, rolling onto her back in an obvious expectation to have her stomach scratched. Jacob laughed, rubbing the dog a few times for good measure. Even as he did so I could see him throwing Edward gloating smirks and felt angry.

"Don't provoke him, it isn't his fault Rosa doesn't like him," I muttered, frustrated that Jacob was here at all. He and Edward were far from pleasant to one another, and being so open about the fact he could sit beside me while Edward could not seemed rude.

"You know when a dog doesn't like someone, it usually means they're dangerous to you," Jacob commented slyly.

"Well then I wonder why she likes you so much," I replied under my breath. His grin vanished for a moment, only to be replaced by another wolfish smile.

"Maybe she just doesn't like blood-suckers then?" He whispered in my ear.

"She hasn't got a problem with any of the other Cullens," I pointed out indifferently. I could see Edward tensing across the room and only then realized just how close Jacob had leaned towards me. The worst part was that they were still filming.

"Isn't it time for Edward to try and sit?" I said loudly, hoping to remind Victoria. It seemed Charlie had started up a conversation with the dog trainer to distract her momentarily, and I couldn't help being frustrated by that too.

Victoria looked up, shaking her head. "A few more people Bella, be patient."

For the next few minutes, person after person entered my room and sat beside me with no problem. Charlie, Angela, Jessica, and even Mike Newton in total. At last Victoria turned to look at Edward, who by then already knew it was his turn to go.

"Now you Mr. Cullen," She instructed sternly.

Edward forced himself to walk slowly as he approached the bed, met with Rosa's usual growls of protest. After a few failed attempts to sit down he stood, looking expectantly at Victoria. As she opened her mouth to speak however Charlie interrupted.

"Perfect. I knew I liked that dog," He said with a laugh. I threw him a disgusted look, trying to remind him to behave. "This isn't a problem Ms.Stilwell, let's move on to more pressing issues, shall we?"

* * *

"Up next, a Great Pyrenees in Forks, Washington says who can and can't approach her owner. Can this protective guard dog be turned into a model pet? Tune in to find out…"

"Come on Bella, you're going to miss it if you don't hurry!" Alice shouted from the other room.

I didn't move from my hiding spot in the kitchen, still trying to think of a way to sneak out of the house unnoticed. I was thankful that there was no way for Alice to realize I had every intention to miss the show if it was at all possible.

Just as I made the decision on how I would leave, I jumped. Alice had appeared by my side with her usual grace and was grinning innocently at me.

"Alice, you startled me," I said, managing a weak smile.

"You weren't going to try and sneak out without watching… Were you Bella?" Alice asked sadly, making her eyes wide and innocent.

"Of course not… What would give you that idea?" I asked, not really thinking through what she'd just said.

"Well, I saw you leaving, but it wasn't dark yet, so the show couldn't have been over." Alice explained, her usual smile returning. I groaned inwardly, having forgotten that Alice would see any plan I tried to make.

"Come on Bella, the worst of it is over. You don't even have to watch… Just come in and sit with us. You can just listen." She said persuasively.

"Do I have a choice?" I asked.

"None whatsoever."

"Then I guess I'm coming," I said reluctantly, following Alice back into the living room in defeat.

As I was taking my seat between Edward and Alice I made the mistake of blinking. Looking around in surprise I realized that Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, and even Rosalie had joined us. Emmett was leaning over the back of the sofa with an intense interest about him while Carlisle and Esme stood more to the side as they watched. Jasper had taken a quiet seat in the chair farthest from me, which I tried not to feel guilty about. Rosalie stood reluctantly by Emmett, obviously there just as willingly as I was.

Just as I was sure I'd come up with a new plan to escape, I heard the familiar interlude that would begin my half hour of humiliation. Listening in spite of myself I was surprised to hear how… accurate the show had been about our relationship.

"Eighteen year old Bella Swan and her boyfriend Edward Cullen are a couple straight out of Romeo and Juliet. They are each other's world, and make valiant remarks such as they would 'die' without one another."

I was surprised by the accuracy for only a moment, for after looking towards Alice I realized she was mouthing the words to the opening. Of course… Alice wouldn't let just anyone describe Edward and I… She'd want to do it personally.

"In an absence by Edward however Bella adopted a Great Pyrenees puppy as a companion, and enjoyed taking it everywhere and anywhere. However, when Edward returned the love-struck couple realized that the new puppy, named Esarosa, had a great dislike for Edward."

"Bring in dog trainer Victoria Stilwell who…"

I stopped listening; giving Alice a glare that I hope implied that she had gone too far. No one had needed a full history of Edward's and my life.

"Where's Rosa anyway?" Emmett asked suddenly, pulling out of his trance like state to look at me.

"She's at home with Charlie," I explained; glad to talk over the show. "He was going to be home all day and I was afraid he'd get lonely since I was coming over here. Besides, at least Edward and I can sit in the same room while she's not here."

Since Victoria Stilwell had come Rosa had gotten exceedingly worse. While the dog trainer was there Rosa had transformed into using model behavior at all times, even around Edward. The moment Victoria and her crew were out of sight however Rosa reverted back to her old ways. It was almost as if she could sense that Edward wouldn't make her do something, and I couldn't. All the same, because of the show Rosa had become much more possessive around Edward. If he entered the same room as the two of us it was all I could do to get out of the way before she knocked me over trying to scare Edward away. He wasn't frightened in the least naturally, Rosa was nothing to a Grizzly bear or wolf, but if Charlie was around he always got suspicious when Edward didn't scar from the many times he should have gotten hurt by the large dog.

Even with my attachment to Rosa, it was nothing to my love for Edward. At my suggestion we get rid of Rosa however Charlie had been completely outraged, lecturing me for over an hour about responsibility and persistence. He also couldn't help suggesting that maybe it was Edward who should be around me less.

"Shh!" Alice hissed, quieting Emmett and I impatiently. "They're talking about Bella and Rosa again."

There we sat, some members of our movie watching party far more intrigued than others. Edward was sitting casually, looking indifferent to seeing himself on National television. Jasper looked a little preoccupied, though politely pretended to want to watch the show. Mind you, I'm not certain if he was pretending for my sake or for Alice's. Emmett was the entire audience in himself, laughing loudly at all the right times while Rosalie stood beside him as still as stone. There was an irritated air about her, though that was usually present while she was around me, and I couldn't help feeling that for once we had something in common. I didn't want to be watching this either… Carlisle and Esme disappeared halfway through the show to bring three large bowls of snacks that I'm quite aware were only for show. To be polite I took a few, though couldn't help noticing most of them were stale.

To my left Alice was perched on the edge of her seat, completely absorbed in what was happening and practically bouncing with anticipation. As for me, I was leaned back in defeat, my arms crossed defiantly as I watched my clumsiness broadcasted for all to see. As I sat, stewing in my own frustration, I felt a very cold hand close over mine. My heart skipped a beat as it so often did when Edward touched me, and I managed a faint smile towards him as we sat together.

"It's not as bad as you seem to think," Edward whispered in my ear, "You're really quite graceful considering…"

"Considering what?" I asked skeptically, flinching slightly as I watched myself fall while trying to lead Rosa out of the room.

"Well, there weren't any trips to the emergency room…" He pointed out with my favorite crooked smile. I frowned, sure this didn't prove anything. Just because I hadn't severely hurt myself didn't mean I looked any less ridiculous.

"You made Alice really happy," Edward tried again, his gaze flickering to the pixie like girl beside me who was now laughing at something Rosa had done.

"Why is it that to make Alice happy, I have to be miserable?" I asked grumpily, refusing to give up my bad mood quite so easily.

"Maybe it's because you mentally make too big of a deal out of small things, while Alice takes small things and literally blows them completely out of portion?" He suggested.

"This wasn't a small thing," I protested.

"After living as long as we have, going on television is just another way to pass the afternoon." Edward said simply.

* * *

Naturally in a town as small as Forks, a television production team showing up at Bella Swan's house would not go unnoticed. Not to mention those who had been involved in testing Rosa during the show, and the family of those who'd heard about it. The Cullens were not the only ones to gather for the fun of watching their friend Bella Swan trip on national television.

Realizing it was another chance to gain popularity through Bella Swan, Jessica had taken it upon herself to organize a viewing party for their lunch table. Crowded around her television was Angela and Ben, Mike, Tyler, Eric, and even Lauren (though she looked far from thrilled by what they were watching). Jessica sat in the middle, commenting on every motion Bella or Edward made and explaining why it had been done.

"I invited Bella and Edward too," She said during a commercial break, eager to bring everyone's attention towards herself. "But before I could even finish the invitation Edward said they were busy. He never even let me say what day or time. Bella should really speak for herself… Edward is going to wake up someday and find out Bella doesn't like having things answered for her." Jessica said confidently.

Though the others nodded their agreement, Angela remained quiet. She thought about Bella's behavior around school, always holding Edward's hand and smiling whenever he was around. Somehow Angela couldn't imagine Bella disliking anything Edward did, least of all declining an invitation she was sure Bella hadn't wanted. Bella didn't seem the type who would want to make a big deal out of something like this. She could picture her being embarrassed when she returned to school and everyone was talking about it.

As the portion where Jessica, Angela, and Mike showed up Jessica turned the volume up eagerly. They watched, inserting their own critique of one another's performance eagerly. When the screen switched to Jacob leaning over to whisper in Bella's ear they all fell quiet. No one had a snide comment to make about the kid from La Push who was more mystery than person.

"I bet the La Push kid would win if he and Cullen fought," Mike stated.

"Why would they fight?" Jessica asked, eager for any gossip she could find.

"Well, look at Bella and the La Push kid, then look at Cullen. You can tell he's furious." Mike pointed out, pointing to the television. Sure enough, though Bella and Jacob were in the forefront, behind them Edward was visibly tensing with every move Jacob made.

"I'm betting on Cullen," Tyler argued, "I think he could hold his own in a fight."

"Ten bucks says the La Push Kid," Mike said with a grin.

"Ten on Cullen, you're on." Tyler laughed, shaking hands with Mike.

"Boys," Jessica muttered under her breath.

* * *

It seemed Forks wasn't the only place absorbed in Bella and Edward's television debut however. Down in La Push there was another viewing party going on, though it took place in a much more cramped space. Somehow all of the werewolves had managed to pack themselves into the Black's small living room, the only space left being directly in front of the television.

The werewolves had a great deal of fun making snide comments about the "blood-sucker" who was scared off by a dog, and Jacob received a round of high fives for progress in talking to Bella.

"So why doesn't Rosa like the blood-sucker?" Quil asked curiously, looking towards Jacob.

"How would I know? Maybe she's just got common sense." Jacob replied evasively.

"So you're saying you didn't have anything to do with it?" Embry asked, clearly disappointed.

"Well… You'd be surprised how far it goes if you teach a dog to dislike a certain scent…" Jacob said, unable to keep a grin from sliding onto his face. "It wasn't hard to take something with the blood-suckers stench all over it and teach Rosa it was an enemy… I didn't think Bella would take it so seriously though. I figured a dog wouldn't be an obstacle for some blood-sucker." Jacob said, shrugging.

The werewolves laughed, watching the show as it progressed further into the supposed solution, showing Rosa with no problem towards Edward anymore. Still, Jacob's mind was still back when he'd talked to Bella. He was imagining all the different opportunities he would have to talk to her if Rosa _hadn't_ improved. He could pretend to know the solution, could slowly train Rosa back into liking Edward. Or perhaps pretend to train her at least… It was much more fun annoying Edward.

* * *

That night I had no sooner returned home than the phone rang.

"It's for you," Charlie told me from the other room. At my curious look he added, "It's Renae. She's been calling all day… You'd think she was the one who'd been on television."

I smiled in spite of myself, picking up the phone and holding it a little bit from my ear as a precaution.

"Hello?" I said cautiously.

"Bella? Oh Bella honey you were wonderful! No one even noticed you trip, it was completely discreet. I'm so sorry that you and Edward are having troubles with Rosa, you do love them both so much. Phil missed your program because of a ball game, but I taped it and we're just about to watch it again! I'll send you a copy, I'm sure you want to show all your friends in case they missed it!" Renae twittered, her excitement nearly tangible.

"Mom, I don't want a tape," I replied patiently, "Besides, most of my friends watched it at the same time as me. Really, it's okay. Have fun watching it with Phil."

"Well, if you're sure." Renae said uncertainly. "Oh, but Bella you were so darling. And seeing Jacob Black was nice too, you talked about him all the time and I never did get to meet him. You two seemed to have a nice conversation." Renae continued with the same enthusiasm.

I managed a laugh, though it was far from funny. It was still fresh in my mind how Edward had tensed angrily when Jacob had appeared in the show, leaning close to me and whispering in my ear. He'd asked me what we'd talked about, and I'd quite honestly said it was nothing important. He hadn't seemed to believe me though.

"I can't wait to see you until- Oh dear I left the chicken in. Bella sweety I've got to run. Our dinners burning. I love you honey, and Phil sends his love! I'll E-mail you tonight!" Renae said quickly, hanging up before I was given a chance to respond.

"Love you to Mom, talk to you later," I said anyway, hanging up as well. I sighed inwardly, making my way upstairs with the very source of my fame trotting at my feet.

* * *

I suppose I'd been playing with the idea for some time, but it didn't really sink in until one night when I was to restless to sleep. Rosa was beside me, completely lost in slumber and Edward was sitting on the window sill, looking thoughtfully out into the night. Quite suddenly I sat up, startling Rosa into a frenzy of barks. Edward didn't so much as flinch, instead turning to look at me expectantly.

"I'll give Rosa to Charlie," I said with a smile. "I'll convince him that it's because I'm going to college at the end of this year. It makes perfect sense that I'd want her to get attached to him and less attached to me… And I do! I don't want to upset Esarosa, but we've got to find some solution. It won't be a problem anymore that she doesn't like you, because it's pretty obvious Charlie doesn't either. It's perfect! She'll spend her time with Charlie and not be lonely that way, and I won't feel as if I'm being irresponsible but can still spend more time alone with you."

Edward listened patiently, nodding a little. Either he saw no flaws in my plan, or he chose not to ruin my happiness by explaining them. Regardless, I went to sleep at last with a smile on my face and a plan in my mind.

* * *

It went flawlessly if I do say so myself. Charlie agreed with my reasoning after I explained it calmly, and worked with me to teach Rosa to depend on him instead. From then on he fed her each day, took her on walks, and spent most of his time with her. Though I was still responsible for the bulk of her care for now, she at last attached to him. Rosa happily slept in my father's bedroom instead of mine, and Edward was able to return to his usual spot beside me at all times of the day.

So it seems I was wrong before, when I thought I could have either Edward or Rosa. Still, I'm starting to wonder if Charlie and Edward aren't right that I need more human friends. Now I have vampires, werewolves, and a very large dog… I think I'll invite Angela over tomorrow to play cards. Why cards? Because it has nothing to do with anyone supernatural.


End file.
